I will be your pirate for hire

Ahoy! So ye be needin' a pirate? Well I be your Cap'n. Cap'n Quint to be exact, at your services. Ye be needin' any personal message, commercial, or voice over, then come aboard me great, grand ship ye landlubbers. All me be needin' is a short script, or with some bullet points and 5 more dubloons, I can write one for ye, that way I be given ye the right video. I be stickin close to 30 seconds per gig, be it longer, toss another 5 doubloons into me ol' hat. If ye be needin' a melody, I request 5 more doubloons and the melody ye be wishin'. I also be havin' the ability to add pirate text to ye gig, for a mere 5 extra. Now thar' be some options! Just poke the Order now button a few times. Order now me heartys!